Post-Mortem: Coloring Book by Chance the Rapper
Call the babysitter, you know what time of the week it is...I hope. I think. I don't keep a calendar so your guess is as good as mine. I digress. It's time for you to holla at ya boi and check out this weeks Post-Mortem of one of the best, least-kept secrets of Chicago, Chance the Rapper's new LP Coloring Book. You got all sorts of characters coming at ya in the next 14 tracks it's straight Animaniacs yo. Czech it.
All We Got ft Kanye & Chicago Children's Choir: 9/10
Chance taking the opener on The Life of Pablo from good to great, and here Yeezy is returning the favor by adding the finishing touches to this dime. This joint before Kanye showed up is like the J-E-T-S jets jets jets, just waiting for a key piece (Ryan Fitzpatrick) waiting to get that ink dried on the second verse and the chorus nahmean. They know they go it and they let you know they know that we all know they know they got it namsayin. That big beat and easy hook makes this track an easy competitor for top spot on best album openers of the year...right next to Ultralight Beam on The Life of Pablo. I mean, you gotta give my man props, puts Satan on point with a very legit threat of a swirly. Keep ya tail close, Beelzebub, Chance on the prowl.
No Problem ft Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz: 10/10
No Problem was featured in this weeks Sunday Snacklist so I'll keep it brief. This song is DOPE. This that track you bump when you making your way down to that Sleazeside Heights joint with the windows down and the Mickey D's sweet tea in the holder nahmean. It gets ya in the summer months mood and give you the attitude to go fuck up the next person looking to step to ya at Bar A. 'Cept when you roll into that bitch they be like, "There he go!" So it's unlikely any two-timin, non-chopstick usin' dimsum muthafucka say anything anyway, but this song still helps namsayin.
Summer Friends ft Jeremih & Francis & The Lights: 7/10
Here we start slowing down the bumpers in order to regain our stamina before spelunking further into the stalagmites of Chance's beats, while also broaching the darker side of the game in Chi-raq, specifically how the town tears itself apart with gang violence when the shirts come off and the prison ink comes out. The interlude before Jeremih enters the scene even makes me cry a tattoo tear almost. So I may be a little late to the game, but who dafuq is this Jeremih character? Or Francis & The Light? Jeremih's ending verse ain't half bad for some R&B crooner, but I feel bad for whoever Francis is and what he's forced to do on this track. Most of what he says makes about as much sense as a hedge fund managers moral compass. Or about as much sense as that last analogy b.
D.R.A.M. Sings Special: unscored, since it's an interlude...but if it was 10/10
Should be renamed Good Ass Interlude solely for that end little lick on the organ/keyboard/ivory-keyed instrument nahmean? Some Giorgio Marauder ish right there b.
Blessings ft Jamila Woods: 8/10
My girl Jamila gets it on after turning Chance's Sunday Candy on Surf from some dung beetle ish to straight kids-keep-this-thing-as-a-pet-goliath beetle levels nahmean. In case some of you weren't aware, Chano has been on fire the past 3-4 years. He gave us Acid Rap, Surf, and now Coloring Book, and they all blown up like each album dropping was it's own personal Nagasaki or Hiroshima, so let the man let you know about how he's been blessed from the man on high, and how it has continued with the love and support of the Grand Wizard and us bloggers on the interwebz. I'm just a big Jamila fan. Everything bout her just gets me going.
Same Drugs: 7/10
This bout Chance and his boo from the diaper years and how they've slowly drifted apart. He a green-is-good sorta guy, she a shove-it-down-my-nose sorta girl (I can't confirm this, but since it's now on the innertubes it's gotta be true! BLAO BLAO). Different strokes nahmean. Ain't no judgement going on other than an introspective inventorying of ones personal decisions as we've grown and matured through our experiences with the world we are a part of b. That's all, duh. Fuckouttahere.
Mixtape ft Young Thug & Lil Yachty: 8/10
The assault of autotune on this track dings it a few points otherwise this track fresh out the oven it's so hot. This track came out of the kitchen where it is all fire. Walls. Counter Top. Herbs and spices. Flames bruh. This song sticks with me because Chance is possibly the last motherfucka who does care about mixtapes. Mixtapes is the proving ground. You think Maximus got to fuck up Commodus' count right away? HE HAD TO ENTERTAIN THE UN-ENTERTAINABLE BRUH. Putting your mixtapes out is like going up against the odds. It's the Battle of Zama. It's getting mauled by 4 underground tigers when fighting some half-ply fuckboy named Tigris from Gaul. It's necessary for the glory nahmean. Luckily you can barely tell 2 different people are rapping the last verses, so it blunts the effect. Just like the blunt you should be piffin to start the track off.
Angels ft Saba: 9/10
Angels brings back the basslines to album to get jams pumping again, with Chance and Saba looking back on where they once called home, and how they still callin' the same neighborhoods home presently. They still reppin' the same Popeye's, same #1 Asian Wok Good Food, and that they don't worry about much with all the angels they got on constant security detail with them. Angels flock around Chance in this song like a fraternities pledge class flocks to Lids once they survive hell week nahmean. Like a Five Guys after last-call downtown. And these angels ain't here just to guard Chano, ya feel me. They got their spritz bottles at the ready for any bodega cats who are unaware that they should shut their mouth and know their role nahmean. Church.
Juke Jam ft Towkio & ...Justin Bieber...: 5/10
Sorry, Mr. The Rapper, but no amount of your awesomeness can rub off on the agglutinative areola AKA the undercooked dumpling AKA the canadian cystadenocarcinoma AKA Justin Bieber. Why do we keep encouraging these cats? The Biebs and the Manziels of the world? I can't even give any more pixels of the internet to discuss this ish b. Fuckouttahere Beibs. I'm just moving on the next song. Mic drop.
All Night ft Knox Fortune: 8/10
Chance bringing that 80s club beat to 2016 and the opening lines should be putting all the hoes out there it's time to get ya drink poured up and start shaking the donk. Just remember you ain't gettin' ish from Chance unless you bringin' the paper to brunch ya feel me. He know what every bird is looking for once the bubbly starts getting libated. Rides. Home and up & down the DDDDDDDDDDDD ya feel me? Chance knows.
How Great ft Jay Electronica & My Cousin Nicole: 7/10
Chance channeling his inner-gospel choir arranger, getting My Cousin Nicole (technically Chance's cousin Nicole...I'll just refer to her as Nicky from heretofore) to clear all confusion whether or not Chance views this as a gospel album, which seems to be a new trend in the hip-hop community. It's like anti-trap music. Getting the peeps off the stoops and into the pews, instead of luring them to the trap for that whack crack nahmean. And not the good whack crack, the bad whack crack. The beginning gets to a be little bit of a drag with the autotune - my church's old Dutch-ies nearly set fire to the old, wooden ship yard they run when they added electric guitars...they'd be manning the Drekars if autotune was thrown in there - since it's quite an extensive opener of gospel/autotune, but once you get passed that UNGHHHHH. Jay Electronica & Chance's flow moister than that angel food cake you get at gramgram's. Don't let ya girl listen to this song by herself for your own good my dude. It'd be lyrical double teaming of ya girls ear yo. And once that happens you'll never be able to satisfy her again. Not that you were able to do that to begin with. It'll just be more apparent moving forward after this song b.
Smoke Break ft Future: 6/10
For what this song is singing bout, I feel like the subject matter is being done a huge disservice. Sorry Chano, not all tracks are hits, but when you rhyming about needing that time to have a proper sesh, don't make me want to go to my non-porous surface table to get my fronto filled with that good-good to get prepped for the next song. I guess since the track is about slowing down life, taking time for that blunt instead of be a city-glass-packing-slicker, I guess Chance is telling us don't miss the piff for the trees nahmean. But IDGAF about depth, bump the beats mang. Song is more telling me to "go take a smoke break, come back for the next one," then to stop, drop, and open up shop at the start of the track. I wouldn't even use an emoji maple leaf to describe my feelings for this track b.
Finish Line/Drown ft Noname, Eryn Allen Kane, T-Pain, & Kirk Franklin: 9/10
The longest and most ambitious (and only) 2-part track of the whole album, Chance keeps the gospel theme veins open by starting the bars about thanking the big man upstairs for the blessings heaped upon him, while ending it by heaping blessings on the rookies coming out of Chi-town by tossing their way some featured artists credits, probably worth more to them than thousands of hours in a studio for their own personal mixtape. This song is full-circle blessings nahmean. And I ain't saying How Great isn't a bad song, but that beginning part been in churches since churches became churches. This track is like legit original gospel nahmean. It's what I hope gospel becomes one day...even though I wouldn't have expected Chance the Rapper and Yeezus Christ to be the two leading the charge for bringing back Jesus into Jesus Pieces. Kirk Franklin ending verse tears it up, putting me right in that Baptist mood ya feel me. I screamed "PRAISE JESUS" in the middle of my workplace while listening to this song I was so moved by the spirit namsayin. I started sweating profusely and, coincidentally, ended up having a hand-fan and handkerchief to cool myself all of sudden. Also, somehow my outfit went from sweater/jeans to full-on choir robe. I'm not sure, I might've blacked out for a few minutes. My outburst wasn't as welcome to people as this track is, but they'll have to get used to it while this gets added to the "cubicle cutting through my summer soul's spirit snacklist 2016" nahmean.
Blessings (Reprise): 8/10
The ending of Coloring Book is a fitting one. After listening to this, you need a cool-down song. This the ice tub after grinding out a Chano Super Bowl. You did the work it took to get this far; you don't wanna pull a muscle getting stiff after this album nahmean.
Final Score: 8.4/10
There you go, the proof is in the pudding, the specs are within tolerance, and all the waiting we have done for Chance to finally give us a legitimate, solo-released LP after Acid Rap has been worth it bruh. This ain't some mostly filler, with no killers-type album, while there a few off beats, the rest of this stays on point. We got your deepness, introspectiveness lines; we got the club killas; we got a little in between ya feel me. Take this and forward it to your friends, your enemies, your henemies, and let them know that this is what it's about. Don't specify what "it" is though; half the fun is figuring that out for yourself.